Drapery Inspections

As an A+ graduate of the Theodore Kitty School, a Stealth Kitty, and a protector of My Person and her surroundings, it is my sworn duty to inspect…well…pretty much everything in her life. With everything we do in a day, I really don’t know how she has survived this long without me.

Like I’ve told  you before, things can get pretty busy at The Shop. I inspect every piece of furniture that comes and goes, every pillow and cushion, and every drape. Yes, I know that word “drape” may be kind of weird to some of you kitties…people….reading. When I first heard it, I thought all the people in The Shop were “losing it.”

I went to my trusty KGTNH and looked to see if there was anything in there about “drapes.” According to the KGTNH, they define drapes as “…Fabric or Fabrics that  humans put together to cover windows.”

I know what all you kitties are thinking, “Why on earth would you want to cover up a perfectly good window?” Frankly I have no answer for that. Apparently, humans pay good money to cover up windows…why put the window there in the first place if you’re just going to cover it up?!?!

Anywho…All you kitties and humans reading this would be very proud of me. I have become quite the drapery inspector, and have decided to pass along a few very important tips to remember when inspecting them.

1. NEVER EVER climb up the drapes.

I know it’s easier to inspect the drapes that way (especially if there are two layers of fabric) but humans really, really don’t like it when a kitty does that.

2. Always inspect drapes from the floor.

Most drapes are very long and can easily be inspected from the floor. Yes, I know it takes longer to walk in between layers of fabric, but let’s face it, “A happy person, means a happy home.”

3.  Gently move the drapes before jumping in a window for the final inspection.

Yes, it’s annoying that humans cover windows, but as a good Kitty, it is our job to protect our people. My Person loves it, when I gently move the drape open with my paw (NO CLAWS) and then jump to the ledge where I can do a final “hanging” inspection…and, get a good view out the window.

 

It can be tedious being a good Drapery Inspecting Kitty, but trust me…IT”S WORTH IT!!!!

 

 

Fassels…Passels….no…Tassels!

Have you ever seen something that is so weird…so strange… so bizarre that you want to ask the maker, “Why on earth would you ever want to make something like this?!?”

Well, I have.

Every once in a while, people will donate things to the shop. Sometimes it’s fabric, sometimes it’s zippers, and sometimes it’s things I have never seen before in my life! Alot of times we can use these things, and everyone at the shop get’s very excited; but every once in a while, we get something in that…well, it’s basically useless…at least in my opinion.

The other day was one of those days…

YES!!!! I love when we get boxes!!!!

“Careful Sassy,” my person said, “There’s a bunch of old material in here, you can smell it, but don’t ruin it.”

I promise, that as an A+ graduate of the Theodore Kitty School I will not destroy the fabric in this box.

“Good job Sass.”

Let me tell you, there was a ton of things to inspect. There were yards and yards of fabric, some old buttons, and then my person pulled out something I had never seen before.

“Look at this Sassy.”

What in the world is that????

“This, Sassy, is a giant tassel.”

A passel? What’s a passel?

“Sassy, I don’t think we can use this at the shop. Here, you can have this.”

My person then set a giant, huge, ginormous, fassel…passel…no it’s a…tassel.

Person, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but what am I supposed to do with this?

“Have fun with it Sass.”

OK….

Let me tell you…I did.

Raining Cat’s and Frogs!!!!!

Oh my goodness! I don’t know how your weather has been wherever all you Kitties…..people… live, but it has been raining Cat’s and Frogs here.

Yes, you heard me right…Cat’s and Frogs. I know it sounds strange, but that’s exactly what my person said the other day. It all began with the daily look out my favorite window. You remember the one I’m talking about? The big one in the bedroom that I can see everything out of.

Anywho..the other morning I jumped up in the window sill and what did I see…no it wasn’t snow this time….the whole outside was WET! I’m not just talking a little bit wet like from those things that spray water out of them…..I mean the whole entire world was WET!!!!

I leaped out of the window and ran over to my person in bed… Don’t worry she was already drinking her brown stuff….

Person!!! Did you see the outside?

“I know Sassy, it is just icky out there today.”

Icky?! No, it’s way more than icky. 

Back to the window I went.

“I can’t believe it! It’s just coming down like ‘Cat’s and Dogs’ out there.”

It’s what?!?

I darted out of the window again, leaped right up next to my person to make sure there was more brown stuff in her cup. There wasn’t. You see sometimes before my person finishes her brown stuff she says the weirdest things, like Raining Cat’s and Frogs.

What do you mean it’s raining ‘Cat’s and Frogs’?! Kittys and frogs don’t fall from the sky.

I got right in her face…

Person, are you OK?

“Alright Sassy,  let’s get ready to go to the shop.”

I looked out the window once more just to verify there were no kittys or frogs falling from the sky…Nope…Nothing.

Person. I don’t know if you should go in today. There are clearly NO ‘Cats or Frogs’ falling from the sky.

 

 

On This Memorial Day Weekend….

memorial day

On this Memorial Day weekend, I think it’s very important we all take a moment to remember those who have fought and died for this great country of ours.

~Thank you for fighting to keep America free~

~Sassy and Her Person

Green Beans…They’re So Fun!!!!

Have you ever seen these things called Green Beans? You know they’re long, kinda skinny, green, and SUPER FUN to play with!!!!! I’m sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself …let’s see…well…umm…I guess we should start back at the…what did she call that place…it was the Farmer’s Park…no, the Farmer’s Mark…Market! That’s right, it was the Farmer’s Market.

So every Saturday my person goes to this Farmer’s Market, and she brings home all kinds of different food. Sometimes she brings home meat, bread, fairies…no berries, and then one time she brought home these Green Beans….

“Sassy, I’m home.”

I came running down the hall, Person! What did  you find?

“They had a bunch of good stuff this time Sass.”

Naturally, I immediately began to inspect everything …you never know what might try to get us.

“Ok, we have some berries, a loaf of bread, some peaches, some potatoes, oh and I also bought some Green Beans.”

Whoa …whoa…whoa….What are those things…you’ve never bought those before.

“What is it Sass?”

These things…I pulled out the longest green thing I had ever seen.

“Sass,” my person said laughing, “What are you doing with that Green Bean?”

A Green Bean…huh…this needs further inspection.

I ran down the hall with the Green Bean in my mouth. I set it down to inspect. According to the KGTNH when you properly inspect new things you have to smell it, paw it, push it around, sometimes you even have to chew on it.

I smelled it…Smells kind of funny, but OK.

Pawed it…Kind of hard, but nothing odd.

Chewed it…Oh…that’s nasty tasting. Humans like weird things sometimes.

Then I pushed it around…HOLY COW!!!!! It went flying down the hall.

That’s what these are good for!  I began to push the Green Bean back and forth down the hall. These Beans are so much fun!!!!!

Just then my person came around the corner…

“Sassy, what are you doing?” she said laughing. I dashed down the hall to my person.

Person, we need more of these Green Beans…they are so much fun!!!!!

 

 

 

Kitty’s and Baths

There’s this rumor going around that Kitty’s are “afraid” of water. I would like to set this straight. We are NOT afraid of water….we just don’t like it.

Not long ago, my person and I were getting ready to go on a trip. My person just about had the truck loaded up when I saw how beautiful it looked outside. I’m sad to say, I couldn’t help myself, and I might have run outside after my person.

You see the sun was out and it looked so warm from the inside…key word LOOKED. As soon as I went outside to the steps, I realized… It was freezing!….and WET!!!! …and there was half melted snow everywhere!!!!!

My person walked around the corner of the house…

“Sassy! what are you doing  out here? It’s freezing!”

I know that now.

“Sass, you’re all muddy, we can’t travel with you like that. We’re gonna have to give you a quick bath.”

BATH!

“Come on Sass, it won’t be that bad. I’ll make sure the water is nice and warm, and I’ll have a fluffy towel for you…”

BATH!!

“Oh it won’t be that bad and it will be over before you know it.”

I’m not really sure what happened next. All I know is that it was so traumatizing…so terrible…I try to block from my mind permanently.

I am very thankful that the water was nice and warm like my person promised….

“Here we go Sass, into the tub.”

AAAAHHHH !!!!! I don’t like water!!!!! Get me out of here!!!!!!!

“Sassy, if you would just hold still it won’t take that long.”

After that, most of it’s a blur, except I remember looking up at my person and the front of her shirt was completely soaked with water.

Person?…What did you do?!?

Next thing I knew there was a nice fluffy.. warm …towel wrapped around me drying me off…and my person had a different outfit on.

Hmmm…anywho…

All I know, is I learned my lesson, and I’m never running outside like that AGAIN!!!!

 

 

Step Things and Applepuss (Part 2)

I flew down the step things ….back up the step things as fast as a jackalope…down the hall…up the other steps….

I LOVE STEP THINGS!!!!!!

I might have ran up and down all those step things for …well… probably longer than I care to admit. I don’t know what makes them so much fun, but there’s just something about running up and down them as long as a Kitty wants….Oh I love it!

I decided it was time to calm down and go see where everyone was at. I found my person and Grammy and Grampy in the kitchen.

“Hey there Sass, you done running up and down the stairs for now?” my person asked.

I am…for now at least. What is that FANTASTIC smell?!?

“Do you smell the food Sassy?” Grampy asked.

I do, but there’s so many smells. I smell the hamburgers, cheese, lettuce, bread, potato chips, and there’s something else…Is it apples? No, not apples…what is that?

“Can you grab the applesauce?” Grammy said to my person.

Applepuss? What in the world is that? Is that what that fantastic smell is?!?!

I ran over to my person.

What is this Applepuss stuff, and can I try some? Is it ok for Kitty’s?

“Hang on a second Sassy,” Grammy said “Once we get the table set, we’ll get you some food.”

I knew I liked these people…both Grammy and Grampy speak Kitty!!!

As promised, once the table was set, Grammy gave me some food…

“Here you go Sassy, and here’s a little bit of the homemade applesauce.”

REALLY!!!!!

I cautiously went over to the tiny bowl. This was definitely the smell I couldn’t figure out earlier. I took a small taste….WOW!!!!!!

I ran over to Grammy’s seat, jumped up on her lap….

Grammy, this Applepuss is AMAZING!!!!!! Thank you for it!!!! Person, we need more of this Applepuss!!!!

I jumped off Grammy and ran back to my Applepuss….so YUMMY!!!!!!