Shadows, Foil, and Fabric…Oh MY! (Part 1)

You remember the dark things…I mean the Shadows and how they were after my person and all at the shop. Well, I thought the Shadows were working alone, and long story short… I was wrong. Yes, I know it’s rare, but even a Kitty can be wrong.

During my morning patrol I saw something shiny over in the corner I hadn’t seen before.

What are you?… Please answer me…. What are you?… I’m warning you shiny thing, this is your last warning. Identify yourself or things are going to get ugly. 

I moved closer toward the shiny thing. When all of a sudden I saw… a SHADOW!!!!!!!

I knew it! You’re working with the Shadows! Shiny thing you will regret this! I will not let you harm my person or this shop.

I ran over to my person to tell her so she could get the others to safety. and she was so calm about it…which was probably good. We would want to cause panic.

“Hey Sassy, did you find the foil?


“Were you showing that shiny foil who’s boss?”

Oh, the shiny stuff is called foil. Yes, I was showing it who’s boss, but I need you to get to safety.

“I’ve got to go help deliver some furniture, so it will just be you and Shannon here ok? I’ll be back.”

You really are getting better at understanding me. Good job person. It will be so much easier to defeat this foil with only one other person here.

They all left and I made sure Shannon was safe. Then…Alright little foil. I know you’re working with those Shadows and I will defeat you. You will not harm these people.

I cautiously approached the foil, I just knew it was ready to get me, but I wouldn’t let it win.

I POUNCED!!!!! It ran….

Not so fast…I …will…. get you!!!

Under the furniture, I swatted at it…under the table…I dove after it…

You will not escape me!!! Come back here!

It was heading toward the front of the shop. I had to get it! What if it had reinforcements that would gang up on me. I couldn’t let it get to the Shadows. They could be anywhere.

Shannon, stay back here, I’m going up front. This could get dangerous.

I stealthily went up front. Remembering my training…Here foil…where are you? … I saw it!

As I approached the foil, I soon realized my greatest fear had come true…





The people I protect at the shop come up with the craziest names for things. Maybe it’s because I’m a Kitty, but humans just have strange names for things. For instance…a “Roman.”

We make those at the shop. I know what all you kitties out there are thinking, “What in the world is a Roman?” The best I way I know how to describe it is: a piece of fabric that humans cover there windows with, that can be rolled up an down by some weird string.

I know, kind of strange, but harmless…or at least that’s what those Romans want you think!…

“We have some many Romans to put together today,” Shannon told my person.

“I know, I can’t wait to get these out of here and installed. It’s like they’re taking over the shop,” my person said.

What!!!! Whose taking over the shop? Not on my watch they don’t! 

(I’ll be honest, I only ever “half-listen” to my person when I’m securing the shop in the morning.)

“Some of these Romans are so big,” Shannon said.

Bring it on, those Roman’s wont take over this shop…noooo they won’t. I don’t care how big they are, I’ll keep you safe.

So it began. Each Roman had to be inspected to see if they were the one that was the ring leader. It took quite a bit of time to interrogate each one. I’m only one kitty after all. I must have interrogated 10 of them when I came to number 11…

All right 11, are you the ring leader? Are you the one trying to take over the shop? Huh!  If you confess right now I’ll go easy, but if you don’t…well, it’s going to be bad.

I stared 11 down. There was just something about it, I didn’t trust it.

I’m watching you 11. I’m watching.

Just as I was about to move on to 12…AAAHHH!  It swung it’s sneaky little string out to get me!

Ah Hah! I knew you were the ring leader!  I jumped and swung back at 11 as fast as I could.  You aren’t going to hurt my people! I …will …protect… this ….shop!

It was a long, fierce battle. Number 11 gave a good fight, but it was no match for me. With one final Attack!!!  by me the battle was over. The sneaky string of 11 finally surrendered and stood still.

Now let that be a lesson to you 11. You won’t take over this shop as long as I’m here. I’m the sworn protector of this shop and the people who work here. You will NOT hurt them. DO YOU UNDERSTAND!

11’s string just stood there in silent submission.  Good, I’m glad we have an understanding.


Polite Little Kitties…I Mean People

In the KGTNH and when you go to Kitty School, the #1 thing that is taught, is to treat everyone else the way you would want to be treated. We should be kind and polite no matter how mean the other kitty or person is to us.

I have to remind myself of that quite often, especially when a little kitty ..person, is petting me and they rub my fur the wrong way. Literally, the wrong way.  I know humans don’t always understand, because, well, let’s face it; we kitties have WAY more fur than people do. Do you know how long it takes for a kitty to get her coat looking good in the morning!

Anywho, I wanted to tell you about the most polite little person that ever came into the shop.

It started out as a normal day, with the usual security checks, sneak attacks, and climbing. Then as I was watching from on top of my shelf, a tall person and a little person came in…

“Mom look they have a kitty in here!”

The little boy turned to my person, “Can I pet the Kitty?”

“Sure,” she said

Next thing I knew my person was holding me in her arms and we were walking  toward the little person.

Do we really have to do this? I mean I just finished getting my fur clean and in place and…

“Oh come on Sassy, it’s gonna be ok.”

I began to brace myself as we got closer.  This is going to be bad I just know it! They always rub my fur the wrong way and…

The next thing I knew the little person was petting me, and you know what; he did it the right way!!!!! I laid in my persons arms in shock!

“That’s a really nice Kitty!” the boy said, “What’s it”s name?”

“Her name is Sassy,” my person said. “She must really like you, because she usually doesn’t stay this still when people pet her.”

Well that’s because they normally mess my fur up! This person doesn’t! Can we keep him? Can We!

I was just so excited that this little person knew how to pet my fur, and was doing such a great job, that I decided to just pet him back. I mean, it was the only polite thing a Kitty could do. So I did.

“Look Mom I think she really likes me! She’s petting me back!”

“She is,” the boys Mom said kind of laughing.

I tell you what. You are the most polite little person I’ve ever met. You are welcome back at this store any time you want!

“Can we come back here again Mom? Please, I want to see Sassy again!”

YOU SPEAK KITTY TOO!!!!!!! Yes Mom, please say he can come back here!

“Sure we can.”


To all of you reading this, please take note. Treat other kitties..I mean people the way you would want to be treated…and PLEASE, don’t rub the kitties fur the wrong way!




As I told you last week, I am a music loving kitty. However, I’m not sure about this thing my person calls “Lessons.” Once a week, my person and I go over to this other place and my person teaches a bunch of little kittens (I mean people) how to play the piano and the violin.

Holy Cow!!!! There’s so many little people to keep track of, it could make a Kitty stress out enough to lose a life! It’s not that I don’t like little people, I do. But I’m only one Kitty how can I keep them all safe. One second they are in one place, then you turn around to check on the other one and that one VANISHED!!!!

I’m only one kitty!!!!!

I talked to my person about this on the way to Lessons one day.

You know I think I may need some back up making sure you and all the little kitties…I mean people..are safe during lessons.

“What’s that Sassy?”

Those little people move so fast and sometimes it’s very hard to hear because, well, I don’t mean to be rude, but the new students on the violin…they sound TERRIBLE!!!!

“Don’t you worry Sassy, everything is going to be fine.”

We went into lessons, but we did something different this time. Instead of the other little kitties staying in the room and me keeping track of them during the lesson, the leader of the little kitties…people (humans call it a Mom), took us into another room and shut the door.

Wait…What’s going on! Where’s my person?!

But then I realized, the Mom was my help! I stopped and listened. I could hear what was supposed to be music. I knew as long as I heard that, my person was ok.

Ok Mom, if you could, you watch one of your little kitties and I’ll watch the other. I know, you may be concerned about the shadows or other terrible things getting your kitty; but I promise you, now that you’re hear, I can handle anything this little kitty…person… does!

I couldn’t believe it; this Mom was a natural! I also think she spoke Kitty! She stayed with the smallest person and I kept an eye on the little bit bigger one. We played with a ball, did tag, and hide and seek. Before I knew it, the music stopped and my person opened the door.

I ran over to her. I just couldn’t believe how well this Mom worked out!

OH thank you!!!!! How we did it today was perfect! No little people ran away and this Mom is great!!!!! Can we get one fore the shop?!

I’ll have to get a letter to the writers of the KGTNH and tell them that if a kitty has a persons who teaches “Lessons” they need to find one of these Mom’s to help with the little kitties…people. A Kitty can really get a whole lot more done with a Mom around.



Kitties and Their Imaginations

I don’t know about you, but I love music! My person plays a whole bunch of different things that humans call instruments. Why are they called instruments..well, no kitty really knows – that’s what the KGTNH says.

My person plays this big tall box thing that has like a million and a half black and white things on it. I really like to sit on her lap and listen as she plays it; it almost puts me to sleep some times. One of the other things she plays is called a Villain…no, that doesn’t seem right..Violin..well, I’m not really sure, I know it starts with a V and let me tell you, there are some high notes on it. Humans have strange names for things.

Having said all of that, there’s one other musical thing that I think is my absolute favorite! My person plays this thing that can take you anywhere!!! She uses this small box thing to talk to people on, but she also can make music come out of it. There’s this one particular song she plays that make me feel like I’m a Mountain Kitty protecting my person from bad guys, or that I could take on the whole world and do anything! One day I just couldn’t help myself. I let my imagination get the best of me…

That’s the one, oh I love this song!!!

“You really like this song don’t you Sassy?”

Oh yes I do! What is the name of this music?

“You really like the Magnificent Seven theme song don’t you?”

Well that’s an odd name, but YES!!!!!

I couldn’t help it. My imagination just swept me away to another world….

Up on top of the mountain! Look at that beautiful land below, the water, the trees, just look at that beautiful creation. As I admire the beautiful scenery…Oh No, someone needs help! What is that? OH NO…Run quick go save the person! Giant killer squirrel! Dash down the mountain! The chase is on! You save the person from the giant squirrel, they are so grateful they give you some chicken and you decide to sit, and stay with them for a while. This is the life…but wait…what is that? A MOUSE…GET IT!!!!!  Off you go running through the field leaping over logs…over the crick that no normal kitty could jump over…through the trees…up the mountain…then…you finally catch it!!!! YES!!! You saved the humans again! Home you go…chicken is waiting….and just when you think it’s going to calm down…SHADOW!!!! the chase is on…out the door..up the tree.. over the creek…on top of the roof…ALMOST ..GOT… IT…

WAIT, what just happened, where’d the music go, why am I on top of the chair????

“Sassy, you are a crazy kitty,” my person says laughing.

What do you mean crazy kitty?

“Where you go when you hear that song.”

What do you mean where do I go, I was saving you from the Giant Squirrel, the Mouse and the terrible SHADOWS! I just saved you and all other humans around!