The Small Person

So…Let’s remember the important facts:

  1. It’s getting “Super Crazy” around here
  2. I’m only one Kitty!
  3. I may need some sort of reinforcement (Remember there’s no shame in asking for help when it’s truly needed).

There’s another worker at the shop named Iris. She’s very good about letting me inspect the furniture. She generally will give me a little bit of her chicken when she has it. She also speaks Kitty pretty good too.

I had talked to my person about getting me some help, and apparently she must have talked to Iris about it. One day, I was doing the usual “sweep” of the shop, when Iris walked in.

“Hey Sassers (that’s what she calls me), look who I brought to meet you.”

I ran over to Iris, who was holding…well….I’m not 100% sure …but…it looks like a really tiny person!

Oh no!  You brought me more people to watch!

I might have started to have a mini kitty panic attack when Iris set the little person down.

What are you doing?!

The little person walked over to me on all fours…I stood very still. I was trying to think back to the KGTNH. I seem to remember there was a section on small people…but, I also seem to remember that I might have skipped that chapter. I know I shouldn’t have, but that book is so big!

Why are you staring at me?

It didn’t answer…so I just stood there. It slowly moved from all fours, to sitting…and we stared at each other. There was alot of staring. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I reached my paw out to say hi like people do…and what do you know …it reached it’s hand out

Oh this is nice… just as I was going to move closer to it….

HOLY COW WHAT WAS THAT!!!!!!!

The tiny person let out this high pitched squeal noise thing… I think I’m deaf. Someone say something, I think my hearing is gone.

All of a sudden I heard Iris laughing! Oh Praise God I can hear!!!! 

“I think she likes you Sassers.”

She does? Well I guess if she does, I like her too. We’ve got to do something about that squeal though! Wow.

I moved a little closer to her again, to have a little talk. She didn’t say much, but at least she had a smile. It was during our little chat about the shop that the door opened…

GOOD GRAVY!!!!!!

She squealed again! After I got myself calmed down, I realized that this little person was the best idea Iris had ever HAD!!!! I rushed over to Iris…

You’re a GENIUS! She could be a great help to me since it’s getting crazy around here. Anytime anything happens around here, she lets out that awful squeal… but it’s good! Nothing gets past this little person. So I know that if she squeals there’s something I need to investigate! 

“It looks like you two are getting along pretty good Sasser’s. Do you think it’s ok she stays for today?”

For today?! I want to keep her FOREVER!!!!!

 

“Super Crazy” (Part 2)

This thing was so ginormous… so huge…I’d never seen anything like it before!  I wasn’t quite sure what it was. It had four legs like me, but obviously was not a kitty.  Maybe a dog? I dashed up to the front to warn my person…

HOLY COW!!!! Do you see that thing out back? It’s HUGE!!!! What is it?! 

She kept typing…

EXCUSE ME! This is a matter of shop security!

Nothing…..Sometimes with humans you have to be really obvious. I jumped up on the desk and stood on top of the work right in front of her.

“Sassy, what are you doing?”

I decided to be ridiculously obvious. I stared at her then at the back door a couple of times…The door..there’s a huge thing out there…WHAT IS IT!!!!

“OH that’s a big German shepherd,” she said.

A what?! A German heifer? Why on earth would there be a cow from “German” in the parking lot…What is  German? Since I used to live in a barn, I knew that  a heifer was a cow, but those German cow’s sure do look STRANGE!!!!

In my experience with cows, you just have to go right up to them and make yourself as big and tough looking as possible. Then they leave.

Off the desk I jumped dashing to the back door…the heifer saw me coming and started to come toward me…Oh no you don’t …I puffed up as big as I could, arched my back, and jumped around as much as I could. 

At first the heifer just stared at me, so I let out a small kitty growl…just to let it know who was boss. I did this for what seemed to be an eternity! Then, the heifer slowly started to move…that’s it..get moving… Oh thank God it’s in it’s car now and leaving!

I stayed there a few more minutes just to make sure it wasn’t coming back. Then I dashed back up front, jumped on my person’s lap and got right in my person’s face so I knew I had her attention.  If that’s what you meant by things are going to get “Super Crazy” around here I may need some help.

“Don’t worry Sassy, that big German Shepard won’t hurt the shop,” she said petting me.

I know, but I think I would still feel better if I had some back up…

 

“Super Crazy” (Part 1)…

I keep hearing my person talking about how summer is coming and things are going to get “Super Crazy.” I’m not 100% sure what “Super Crazy” means, but, let’s face it, it sounds bad! Since it sounded bad, and after everything that happened with the Shadows recruiting The Foil and Fabric, I decided that I better get down to business and up my training. Those Shadows are pretty sneaky and who knows who else will be recruited to join them. A good kitty must be prepared for everything.

I upped my raining. Instead of climbing the door only a couple of times a day, I upped it to 5…

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…and then I worked on jumping down to the floor from the top, instead of climbing down backwards.

Then, I worked on getting through small spaces…

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…in case I need to sneak attack someone.

Then I worked on my outdoor surveillance.

20160801_093208 While I was performing my outdoor surveillance..from inside of course… I saw one of the biggest, scariest, things I’d ever seen in my life!

It was at that moment, I’m pretty sure I understood what “Super Crazy” meant…

 

Shadows, Foil, and Fabric…Oh MY! (Part 2)

Let’s see where was I…oh yes, my worst nightmare had come true…The Shadows were back and they had teamed up with the Foil and they now had a hostage!!!!

Foil, back away from the hanging fabric…No answer

This is between you and me, well, and the Shadows too, but not the Fabric, it’s innocent…

Or so I thought.

There I was, thinking that the hanging Fabric was a hostage of the Foil and Shadows. Creeping slowly, I was  getting closer to freeing the Fabric. I had the Foil scared stiff. Just as I was about to slap the Foil out of there and free the hanging Fabric…

AAHHH!!!!

The Fabric attacked me! It took a second for me to realize what was going on. Oh you sneaky Shadows. You not only enlisted the help of the Foil, but the Fabric too!!!! Those Shadows were sneakier than I thought. I slapped the Foil out of the way sending it to the hills, then I leaped after the Fabric.

I..can’t…believe…it!!!  I said as I leaped  through the air to try and get the fabric to surrender.  WHY! How could you team up with the Shadows and Foil!  The fabric gave no explanation, but continued to fight.

I went at the Fabric from every angle. I could tell I was starting to wear it down, when all of a sudden…PLOP! it fell to the ground in surrender!

Fabric, we’re going to have a chat. You are going to tell me what the Shadows and Foil promised you to turn on me and this shop…

Shadows, Foil, and Fabric…Oh MY! (Part 1)

You remember the dark things…I mean the Shadows and how they were after my person and all at the shop. Well, I thought the Shadows were working alone, and long story short… I was wrong. Yes, I know it’s rare, but even a Kitty can be wrong.

During my morning patrol I saw something shiny over in the corner I hadn’t seen before.

What are you?… Please answer me…. What are you?… I’m warning you shiny thing, this is your last warning. Identify yourself or things are going to get ugly. 

I moved closer toward the shiny thing. When all of a sudden I saw… a SHADOW!!!!!!!

I knew it! You’re working with the Shadows! Shiny thing you will regret this! I will not let you harm my person or this shop.

I ran over to my person to tell her so she could get the others to safety. and she was so calm about it…which was probably good. We would want to cause panic.

“Hey Sassy, did you find the foil?

Foil?

“Were you showing that shiny foil who’s boss?”

Oh, the shiny stuff is called foil. Yes, I was showing it who’s boss, but I need you to get to safety.

“I’ve got to go help deliver some furniture, so it will just be you and Shannon here ok? I’ll be back.”

You really are getting better at understanding me. Good job person. It will be so much easier to defeat this foil with only one other person here.

They all left and I made sure Shannon was safe. Then…Alright little foil. I know you’re working with those Shadows and I will defeat you. You will not harm these people.

I cautiously approached the foil, I just knew it was ready to get me, but I wouldn’t let it win.

I POUNCED!!!!! It ran….

Not so fast…I …will…. get you!!!

Under the furniture, I swatted at it…under the table…I dove after it…

You will not escape me!!! Come back here!

It was heading toward the front of the shop. I had to get it! What if it had reinforcements that would gang up on me. I couldn’t let it get to the Shadows. They could be anywhere.

Shannon, stay back here, I’m going up front. This could get dangerous.

I stealthily went up front. Remembering my training…Here foil…where are you? … I saw it!

As I approached the foil, I soon realized my greatest fear had come true…