Kitties and Their Imaginations

I don’t know about you, but I love music! My person plays a whole bunch of different things that humans call instruments. Why are they called instruments..well, no kitty really knows – that’s what the KGTNH says.

My person plays this big tall box thing that has like a million and a half black and white things on it. I really like to sit on her lap and listen as she plays it; it almost puts me to sleep some times. One of the other things she plays is called a Villain…no, that doesn’t seem right..Violin..well, I’m not really sure, I know it starts with a V and let me tell you, there are some high notes on it. Humans have strange names for things.

Having said all of that, there’s one other musical thing that I think is my absolute favorite! My person plays this thing that can take you anywhere!!! She uses this small box thing to talk to people on, but she also can make music come out of it. There’s this one particular song she plays that make me feel like I’m a Mountain Kitty protecting my person from bad guys, or that I could take on the whole world and do anything! One day I just couldn’t help myself. I let my imagination get the best of me…

That’s the one, oh I love this song!!!

“You really like this song don’t you Sassy?”

Oh yes I do! What is the name of this music?

“You really like the Magnificent Seven theme song don’t you?”

Well that’s an odd name, but YES!!!!!

I couldn’t help it. My imagination just swept me away to another world….

Up on top of the mountain! Look at that beautiful land below, the water, the trees, just look at that beautiful creation. As I admire the beautiful scenery…Oh No, someone needs help! What is that? OH NO…Run quick go save the person! Giant killer squirrel! Dash down the mountain! The chase is on! You save the person from the giant squirrel, they are so grateful they give you some chicken and you decide to sit, and stay with them for a while. This is the life…but wait…what is that? A MOUSE…GET IT!!!!!  Off you go running through the field leaping over logs…over the crick that no normal kitty could jump over…through the trees…up the mountain…then…you finally catch it!!!! YES!!! You saved the humans again! Home you go…chicken is waiting….and just when you think it’s going to calm down…SHADOW!!!! the chase is on…out the door..up the tree.. over the creek…on top of the roof…ALMOST ..GOT… IT…

WAIT, what just happened, where’d the music go, why am I on top of the chair????

“Sassy, you are a crazy kitty,” my person says laughing.

What do you mean crazy kitty?

“Where you go when you hear that song.”

What do you mean where do I go, I was saving you from the Giant Squirrel, the Mouse and the terrible SHADOWS! I just saved you and all other humans around!

Nine Lives and the Light

It all started out like a usual Saturday. We got up a little later than usual, my person got her coffee, and she gave me a little bit of chicken with my breakfast. I don’t know how it is at your house on Saturday’s, but at ours my person put’s her clothes in that big box that makes them wet and then put’s them in the one that makes them dry. She’ll have music playing…I really like when she has music playing… it’s so nice….anywho…Sorry, I’m getting off topic. Where was I ? … oh yes, Saturday mornings. She also will use this thing she calls a vacuum. Apparently this thing’s job is to suck up things on the floor and make a ton of noise while doing it.

One Friday evening after work, I let me guard down a little. My person put this big long thing into the car that she said she had been “saving up for.” To most kitty’s this would be alarming, but not me. While I love my person, she puts the strangest things in her car, especially from the shop. So when she put this long grey thing (that kind of matched my fur color) into the car, I didn’t think to much about it. It seemed normal…for her.

It was on that Saturday morning that I found out just what that grey thing was.

“Alright Sassy, have you inspected the new vacuum? Is it safe?”

I’ve trained you so well. You really are catching on to what my job is. Let me just inspect it real quick.

“This vacuum is a little bigger than the last one, but it shouldn’t make much more noise.”

Ok, well everything seems to be ok on it.  Wait.. what’s….

“Watch out Sassy, I need to get vacuuming.”

I had seen something that looked a little odd to me, and just as I stepped back… AAAHHHH!!!!!

I am ashamed to say, it almost scared one of my nine lives right out of me! As soon as my person turned that vacuum on, a huge light came to get me!

NO! not the light!  Every kitty knows that when you see the bright flash of a light, well…let’s just say it’s not good…you’re down a life.

I’m too young to lose a life! AAHH!!!!!

I ran under the bed quick as a flash. My person turned the new vacuum off.

“I’m sorry Sassy, I didn’t realize the light on the vacuum was that bright. I din’t mean to scare you.”

I poked my head out form under the bed… Wait…You mean that light was just the vacuum? Oh my goodness, I thought I lost a life. It was just a simple light bulb. Whoa. That was a close call. I took a moment to compose myself, then…Just to let that vacuum know I wasn’t scared of it, I marched right over to it and let it have it…as politely as I could.

Excuse me vacuum, in case you didn’t know, that light trick you pulled, well, it didn’t scare me. …Too much.  I’m on to you, and I’m going to be watching you. You are now officially under my surveillance, and you better keep your little light in check…got it?

No response.

Alright, I’ll take your silence to mean you understood my message. Don’t try anything like that again, or this kitty is going to have to get rough with you. OK?


I’m glad you understand.



Meet…WHAT?!?! (Part 2)

Let me think, where was I at? …..Oh yes… WHAT IS THAT!!!!!

There Anne was, holding this thing. It was tiny. It was actually about my size, but it was not like any Kitty I’d ever seen.

“Hey Sassy, I want  you to meet Chewy.”

What is a Chewy? That can’t be a kitty.  I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, so I just started at it. Trying to figure out what it was. Obviously it wasn’t dangerous, or Anne wouldn’t be holding it. But just to be sure it wasn’t an enemy, I gave it a very slight Kitty growl. Just to let it know that if it tried anything, it would have to deal with me.

It didn’t move at all after the growl. Well, it obviously doesn’t speak kitty. I thought back in my mind to the family dog at my first home. No, it can’t be a dog, they’re supposed to be bigger than kitty’s.

Next thing I knew, my person was putting me on the ground, and Anne was setting Chewy down (whatever it was). I just stared.

“It’s ok Sassy,” my person said.

NO IT’S NOT! Could someone please tell me what this thing is!

“It’s ok Sassy, Chewy’s a Maltese,” Anne said.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t listening to everything she said. I was busy staring it down. What?! It’s a Malt-ball? What in the world is a Malt-ball?!

“Isn’t it nice having a dog that’s your size Sassy? my person asked.

A MALT-BALL is a DOG! What is wrong with you people! You have the strangest names for things. I’ve read the KGTNH many many times, and no where in there is anything about a Malt-ball!

As I was busy staring Chewy the malt-ball down, it started wagging it’s tail. Every animal knows that’s the universal sign for another animal to play. But, I just wasn’t sure about that.

I think I’ll just sit here if you don’t mind Anne. It was very nice that you wanted me to meet your Malt-ball, but I think I’d like to go home. Person, can we go please.

“Come one Sassy, just say hi,” my person said.

I tried to say hi, but then I realized that Chewy didn’t speak Kitty. I only know a few words in Dog, and I’m kinda rusty on that… IT’S MOVING!!! Why is it moving!

I’m kinda ashamed to say, I ran over to my person terrified. And… I might have climbed up her leg. “It’s ok Sassy.” I’m sorry Anne, maybe I should take Sassy home.”

Thank you so much!!!

Anne picked up Chewy and my person, me. I stared at Chewy thinking, I have to contact the Kitty’s who wrote the KGTNH and tell them to add a type of dog to that book. They will never believe me, that there is a type of Dog called a Malt -Ball.

Meet…WHAT?!?! (Part 1)

As I’ve said before, I love when my person takes me for a drive in the truck.  I know that some Kitty’s don’t like it, but I actually find it quite soothing and relaxing because, well I don’t actually have to patrol anything. It’s like a little vacation for me.

One day my person and I took another drive, and she told me we were going to Anne’s house. You know, Anne, the one I helped with paper work at the shop. I was pretty excited, I like Anne.

We drove for a little bit and I was able to get a Kitty Nap in, which was totally needed. When I woke up, my person was taking my box out of the truck.

OH is this Anne’s house? I like it! A kitty could really get used to this! I saw a huge yard, and the wind gently blowing. It was so nice! We walked up to the door, and there was a nice place that a kitty could lay and their person could sit. I’m pretty sure this is what Kitty Heaven looks liked.

A smaller person, not Anne, answered the door. “Oh is this Sassy, she’s so cute!” Cute! I don’t know if I like that word “CUTE.” Skillfully trained Stealth Kitty’s like myself, are never “cute!” 

“Oh I think she’ likes me she’s meowing at me.”  I knew it, she doesn’t speak Kitty. Anne speaks Kitty, why don’t you! ” Mom, Sassy’s here.”

We went inside. My person set my box down, and got me out and held me. Mom? what does Mom mean again? I thought back to the KGTNH. That’s right, Anne has the human version of little kittens.

At first I wasn’t sure about Anne’s kitten, but then she started to pet me, and you know…I don’t normally like to be petted, but she petted me the best I’d ever felt.  Ok, I like you and I forgive for calling me cute.

Just then, Anne came into the room. “Hey Sassy, how are you doing?”  Anne!,  I turned  my head to look at Anne, “Sassy, I want you to meet…” WHAT IS THAT!!!!!!

Perks of the Shop… Part 2-Pillows

20160914_134132What is a pillow?  That’s what I though when I first the word.  Why is this person buying so many of them! These crazy humans, I don’t know what they’re thinking sometimes.

Maybe you’re a kitty reading about pillows for the first time, let me give you a little bit of advice..don’t judge…those pillows are AWESOME!!!!

Like I said, the first time I heard the word pillow, I had no idea what my person was talking about. All I know is that the customer bought a whole bunch of them. Since this wasn’t the first customer to buy a whole pile of them, I decided to investigate.

What is a pillow? My person, when she was trying to sell pillows, would always go over to the big front window in the shop and pick up these big puffy squarish things… those must be pillows.  Being the good kitty that I am, I decided to investigate.

As official protector of my person and guard kitty of the shop, I need to know about everything in this shop.  I waited till everyone was in the back and then I jumped up on the pillows in front of the window… OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! No wonder humans are always buying these things. They’re AMAZING!!! 

I must admit, I was so excited about how fluffy and soft they were, I just had to try all of them out! I wonder if we have any of these at home! I must investigate when we get home! I  wanted to ask my person if we could go home now, but I didn’t want to get off the pillows. They were so FLUFFY!!!!

I was really thinking about getting off the pillows when my person caught me, “Sassy, what are you doing?”  What do you mean ‘What am I doing.’ Have you felt these? They’re AMAZING! Do we have these at home?  “Sassy! you can’t be up there. Come on get down, we have to get going home anyway.” HOME! Really! Yes! I want to see if we have these at…” Come on Sassy, we have pillows at home you  can lay on.” WHAT!!! We DO!!!! 

Let’s just say, when we got home, I ran into our house and searched everywhere, and then..oh yes then…I found them on the thing my person sleeps on at night. I jumped on them, laid down, and told my person,  I’m going to… “Sassy, that’s my pillow. Here, You can have this one.” She moved me over to the other pillow that was now mine..Oh thank you! It’ s soooo FLUFFY!!!! I’m just gonna take a little kitty nap here ,ok.



Perks of the Shop… Part 1-Foam

IMG_3215For some crazy reason my person decided we needed to go to the shop earlier. At first, I did NOT like it! Do you know how hard it is for one kitty to constantly patrol that shop?! I’m pretty sure it should be a five kitty job!

However, It does have it’s perks….

One of these early mornings, as I was doing my usual patrol of  the shop, I spotted this huge pink thing. I ran over to my person…

What is that? Did you put that pink thing there? Who authorized this! No one checked with me. I’ve told you, I have to clear everything in this shop. I have to make sure those shadows don’t come back and get any of you…

As I was telling her, I realized she was on that little thing that humans hold on the side of their face and talk into to. I don’t get the point or purpose of that thing, but anywho, she couldn’t answer my question.

So I ran to the back room.  Jumped up on a table and talked to Shannon. Shannon is always at this machine thing I’ve heard called a sewing machine. I’m not really sure what it is, or why she sits at it. It has this opening that she puts fabric through and it just makes a whole bunch of noise. Like I said, I’m not really sure why we have this noisy thing, but because she sits at it,  I can talk to her pretty easy.  Her Kitty language is coming along pretty good too.

So, like I said, I jumped on the table to talk to Shannon…

Do you know about this pink thing? I tried to ask my person about it and she has that thing up to her face, and who knows how long that’s going to be.

“Morning Sassy, what’s going on?”

The pink thing…do you know anything about it?”

“I’m not sure what you’re trying to tell me.”

Sometimes you just have to show humans instead of trying to speak Kitty…

OK, watch me… I jumped off the table onto the floor, and stood by the pink thing… This, what is it?

“Oh, you found the piece of foam I was saving for you.”

Foam? For me! What is foam?”

“Here, let me show you.”

Shannon picked this “foam” up and set it up on this other huge table we have. I can’t quite jump on it yet, it’s so tall. So I love it when they put me up there. Shannon picked me up and set me on top of the foam…It’s so soft!!!!!

I think I like foam! And  I can see the whole back room from this spot… Person!

My person actually came!

You have to try this foam it’s sooooo comfy. I’m just going to stay here for a while. Can we please make sure this foam doesn’t disappear. Shannon gave it to me, and I love it!!!

“Wow Sassy, look at that. We’ll have to make sure that we put that in a safe spot. That’s what happens when we get to the shop early, you get little presents for being such a good kitty.”

I went over to the edge of the table and gave Shannon a proper lick to say thank you.

Oh thank you, thank you for the foam, I really do love it!