“Happy Valen-Flower-Gnome Day” (Part 1)

I love my person. I love going to the shop. I love helping the people at the shop….

with paperwork…

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or sewing…

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….and I love protecting of all of them.

Yet, every once in a while…well, now that I think about it…alot of the time actually…my person and those she works with (never the small person…we understand each other) make absolutely NO SENSE!!!!!! Frankly…sometimes, they down right scare me!!!!!!

Take today for instance, it’s this “holiday” called Valen…something or other Day. I’m not really sure what that is, all I know, is my person says she’s allergic to something called roses…I think roses are a flower. So, OK, Valen-something Day is a weird day with flowers….right?….NOPE!  WRONG !!!

Now I hear her talking to Iris and Shannon (some of the people who work at the shop) about some Valen- Day Gnome for Anne, and something about a “inside joke.”

First off, what in tarnation is a Gnome?

Second, Don’t all “jokes” take place inside? Why would you want to do a joke, outside, this time of year in Wyoming…It’s FREEZING!!!

This is going to be a loooong day. You’ll have to bear with me ’til Anne gets here to see about this Inside Joke Valen-flower Day Gnome…whatever that is. Maybe I’ll talk to the small person, she might know something about this. She  has good information about alot of things.

Anywho…

Never fear, I will get to the bottom of this, and report back my findings next week.

Happy Valen-Flower-Gnome Day…

…I think.

Jerky (Part 2)

Welcome back fellow readers. I last left you at…

This is not a laughing matter…DON’T EAT THAT!!!!! It smells TERRIBLE!!!!!!….. That Buffalo Jerky is trying to kill you!!!!!

I went to swat the jerky from my persons hand.

“No Sass, this is my food, you have your chicken over there.”

 I’m not trying to eat it; I’m trying to SAVE YOUR LIFE!!!!

I realized that my person was not as advanced in the Kitty language as I though she was. I was really going to have to rethink how to get this stuff from her. She had already eaten a little bit. Who knows how much she would have to eat before she keeled over.

Think Sassy think!!!! I said to myself.

My person got up to do something. PERFECT!!!! I thought. My person had left the bag of Buffalo Jerky sitting on the table.  Remember…under ordinary circumstances I am FORBIDDEN from getting on the table, but this is a matter of life and death.

I did a quick scan of the room…listened for a moment…..OK, coast was clear. I leaped up on to the table.

There you are you ….you…person killing jerky!!!!!! You won’t hurt my person!

I cautiously crept closer to the bag. I sniffed the outside of the bag just to be sure of what I was getting into. The more I sniffed…the more confused I became. At first sniff, this buffalo jerky smells like it will kill you, but the closer you get to it…I don’t think it will.

I decided to get a small piece and take it to the floor before my person came back and I got in major trouble! I became even more curious about this buffalo jerky.

OK that’s it, I’m going to try it…..HOLY COW!!!!!!!!!!

“Sassy, what are you doing?”

PERSON!!!!!! This Buffalo Jerky is AMAZING!!!!! We need more of this!!!

 

Jerky (Part 1)

Many humans accuse animals of stealing their food. Now I can’t speak for dogs, or rabbits, or flamingos, or any other animals, but if a Kitty takes your food, it’s really for your protection. Yes, that’s right, we are trying to save your life.

I don’t know how many times I have saved my person’s life from strange food, but nothing compares to the first time I saved her life. She had come home from what she calls grocery shopping – apparently this is no fun to do, but she always gives me chicken after- so how bad can it be! Anywho… she was all excited about this thing she called Jerky…

What in the world is Jerky?

“Sassy, I know it’s weird, but I’ve always wanted to try Buffalo Jerky and the store finally had it on sale!”

Person, what in the world is Jerky?!

Every once in a while, my person get’s so excited about something, that she get’s lost in her own little world. She continued to put the food away while going on and on about this Buffalo Jerky.

“OK Sassy, here’s your chicken.”

Oh thank you!!!

Just about the time I went to eat my chicken, I heard this noise that sounded like something tearing. I looked over at my person, and she was sitting in her chair about to eat something.

Oh, she’s just opening a bag …

Then I got a whiff of something I had never smelled.

WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!

I leaped over to the chair and got between her and the bag.

Sassy, what are you doing?” she said laughing.

This is not a laughing matter…DON’T EAT THAT!!!!! It smells TERRIBLE!!!!!!….. That Buffalo Jerky is trying to kill you!!!!!

Piano Kitty

A while back I told you how my person teaches piano lessons. Sometimes we go to other houses to do the lessons, and sometimes the little kittys…I mean people….come to our house and play on our piano.

After listening to my person teach the kittys….people….I decided that I needed to learn to play the piano too.

I waited til my person was done teaching the lesson then I went and talked to her about my decision…

“Hey Sassers, how are you doing?”

I am doing just grand, thank you for asking.

I jumped up on the seat and got right next to her. My person likes it when you just tell her what you would like, or need to do. She always says, ” Just out with it already, don’t beat around the bush.” I’m not really sure what “beating around the bush” means, but anywho…..

“What’s up Sass?”

I was thinking it might be nice, if I could learn how to play the piano.

“You like the piano don’t you Sass.”

I do…so about those lessons…

“You want to play the piano Sass?”

YES!!!!

“Come here, let me see your paws…”

I hopped over to my persons lap, and she put my paws on the piano.

This…is…so…FUUUUUUNNNN!!!!!

“Is that fun Sass?”

Oh my goodness, I should have done this forever ago!!!! Now I know I need to practice…

“I’ve got another lesson in just a few minutes, but you can play until they come.”

Person, you are so great!

I mean, how many of you have a person who lets you practice the piano…it really doesn’t get much better than this…unless their’s chicken…but this is a very close second.

Total DOGWASH!

I think it’s about time I set the record straight. There has been this rumor going around, well..since the beginning of time, that Kittys are “afraid” of water. You know what I say to that…”DOGWASH!” Yes, DOGWASH.

Kitty’s are not afraid of water…now it might startle us, but never scare us.

*Disclaimer: I cannot speak for larger Kittys, such as lions, tigers, panthers etc… because I have never met one nor asked them their take on this matter.

Back to the subject at hand:

Baths. 

A good Kitty only needs a bath, in a sink/tub once a year. Why? you ask, because frankly it’s embarrassing! Through no fault of their own, a Kitty’s person tends to laugh at them after the bath. Because… well, let’s face it we look like wet rats after! Hence, no more than one bath, once a year..END OF THAT STORY!

Showers.

Showers on the other hand, are a whole other matter. All of the Kitty’s at the Theodore Kitty School (the school I’m a graduate of) are taught to jump in the shower after their person is done. Why you ask? Well, it’s really just easier to clean our paws in the little bit of water that is left in the shower. I always like to drink a bit of the left over water too..it just tastes better out of the shower.

Water…in general

Do we drink water? YES! I personally love water!

Do we like to be thrown into water? NO! Do you?!

Do we play in water? Occasionally…don’t you?

Do sudden outbursts of water scare us? NO…they startle us.

So as you can see, this idea that Baths and Showers and Water scare Kittys…Oh My Goodness…it’s total Dogwash!

Sheepspin- You Can Take It Anywhere!

First off, I want to wish all my readers a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! I had a great New Year’s Eve. My person and I stayed up til midnight…well, I did, she fell asleep at 10:00…but she did give it a good try. Anywho…. I must tell you about my latest find. Yes, it’s so exciting….so fluffy….I can hardly contain my excitement!!!!!!!

I know what you’re thinking… JUST TELL US ALREADY!!!! Never fear, I’m not only going to tell you, but I’m going to show you!

I know what you’re thinking, “Sassy, why are you curled up in a box?” The answer is .. Because that box is full of Sheepspin!!!!! Yes, you heard correctly

 …Sheepspin.

Now some of you may be wondering what “Sheepspin” is, and why it’s so great? Let me tell you, Sheepspin is…well…it’s…it’s this AMAZING white fluffy stuff that once you smell it and touch it….oh my goodness!!!….let’s just say you’ll want to jump in a box full of it and fall asleep too!

Why is it so great? That’s an easy answer….BECAUSE YOU CAN TAKE IT ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!

You can play with it anywhere….

And after you have a WONDERFUL day of playing with it, licking it to death, rolling around with it, and carrying it everywhere, you can bring it home to sleep on it in front of the heater…

I don’t normally do New Years Resolutions, but I’ve decided to make an exception this year. My New Year’s Resolution…Tell everyone about SHEEPSPIN!!!!!!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New YEAR!!!

I wanted to say thank you to all of you who have read my blog this year. We’ll be taking a small break to enjoy the Holidays. Be sure to come back on January 10, 2019 for a new story!

~Sassy~