4th of July (Part 1 – Venison Burgers)

4th of July…where is it? Surely there’s something in the KGTNH about this thing they call the 4th of July.

I went through that whole book…NOTHING!

Well, I guess I’ll just have to figure it out myself.

I went to see what my person was doing. She was in the kitchen doing, well, you never know with her what she’s going to be doing.  She was at the counter top.

“Hey Sassy, what are you up to today?”

Just the usual, patrolling the house, keeping us all safe, trying to figure out what the 4th of July is…ya know…What are you doing up there?

“You gonna help me make some venison burgers? People are going to be coming soon, we need to get these on the grill.”

I love when she cooks things on the grill! I’m not 100% sure what a grill is, but all I know, is that when she says she’s cooking on the grill, it always smells so good!!! I also get a little piece of  the food she puts on there. That is ALWAYS a plus.

My person went outside. I’m not usually an outside kitty. Let’s face it, it always seems to be so cold outside and so nice inside. However, I do make an exception for the grill.

What is that smell?!?!

My person already had some of those venison things cooking.

WOW! If those Venison things taste as good as they smell…I really really want some. OH my goodness! They smell so AMAZING!!!

I just had to see what they looked like. I couldn’t wait any longer. I leaped up onto my person’s shoulder. Now, I know what you’re thinking, how could a tiny Kitty like me leap up onto a person’s shoulder. To be honest, I might have kind of climbed up her back a little (which no regular Kitty should ever try)  and then reached her shoulder. Nevertheless, I made it to her shoulder.

The smell….ooohhh the smell.

Person, could I please just have a little piece of that venison thing. There’s plenty there, just a small, little, piece is all I want.

“Ok Sassy, just a small piece.”

OH Thank you!!! Thank you !!!

HOLY COW!!! This is the best tasting thing I’ve ever had!!!!!

I kind of wished no other people were coming and I could just stand there and smell it! However, more people did mean more dropped food. Every good Kitty knows that when you eat the dropped food, you are really just helping your person out by eating it. Then they don’t have to clean it up. I’m sure there’s a section in the KGTNH about it.

The people started coming, and to be honest, I didn’t mind it too much. That is, I didn’t mind it too much until…

HOLY  BUCKETS!!!!!! WHAT IS THAT!!!!!!!…….







To All My Kittys…I Mean Readers

The 4th
Thank you Jim Stapleton for the picture

I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for reading what I write. My person and I have decided to take a little break for a couple of weeks. She tells me that a holiday called the 4th of July  is happening and many of you might be traveling.

The real question is…What is the 4th of July?!  I heard something about venison burgers. Once again, what is venison?

Anywho…Like I said, we will be taking a break until July 12th. So make sure you check back then. I’ll have to tell you what I find out about this venison and the 4th of July…so confusing…

Thank you for taking time to read what I write.


The Refrigimaker…Refrigamailer

This is AMAZING! You can  see everything!!!! What is this called and when did you put a mountain in our house!!!

Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself.  I know what your thinking…was it really that exciting? Was it really that big of a deal?  Sassy, aren’t you exaggerating just a little?  Well let me tell you…Yes and NO!!! I mean YES it was really that exciting and that big of a deal and  NO I’m not EXAGGERATING! Have I ever exaggerated to you before! Well, ok maybe just a smidgen…but not this time! Maybe I should start back at the beginning… It all started one morning…

It was a typical morning and I was doing my usual patrol of the house when I realized something was different about the place you get food from. I think my person calls it the kitchen.  Then I saw it…

What is this thing? I asked my person.

No answer.

Person, excuse me, over here. This thing that hasn’t been here before…ummm…..Did you authorize this?

“Hey Sassy, did you see the new refrigerator?”

The refriga -what?

“What do you think  of the new refrigerator?”

My person picked me up.

What is a refrigimaker….refrigamailer?

“See Sassy, it has two doors, here’s the freezer…”


“And here’s the Fridge.”

That’s where you keep the chicken!!!!

But let me tell you, as exciting as chicken is, that was not even the best part…

“I think you’re going to like it Sassy,  ’cause look, you can stand on the top and see all over the house at once.”



OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! You weren’t kidding this refrigimaker is AMAZING!!!!! It’s like you got me a mountain!!!

I couldn’t believe it! This refidgimailer was going to save me so much time in my morning patrol!!!

I was so excited I leaped from the top of the refrigimaker into my persons arms!

Oh thank you thank you thank you !

“I’m glad you like it,” my person said half laughing.

Person, this truly is one of the best things you’ve ever bought!


The Ford…The Cord.. The Hard Yarn

Have you ever had something just drove you crazy? Well I certainly have.

For the record, I love our Saturday mornings. We get get to sleep in a little, I usually get a little chicken with breakfast, and when my person isn’t watching I might sip a little bit of that coffee stuff (I LOVE coffee!).

One Saturday, my person was doing stuff outside, so I decided to do the inside security check.  As I went around the room, I saw this long black piece of yarn. Everyone knows that when a Kitty sees a piece of yarn that is an open invitation for play and the absolute destruction of the yarn. Why, you ask…well…it’s fun, that’s why.

Haha, I see you little piece of black yarn, I”m gonna get you when you…least…expect…


I dove into the yarn head first, and wrestled with it (yes, you have to do that first). While I was chewing on it I realized that this yarn was really really hard. I stopped.

What is wrong with you? I didn’t know it was possible for a kitty to scare yarn stiff! I thought that was just some saying. 

That’s when I really began to investigate.  I began to chew on it a little more to figure out how thick it was, how stiff, etc.. and that’s when my person came back inside…

“Sassy! don’t chew on that cord.”

Don’t chew on the Ford? What in the world is a Ford?

“Sassy, drop that cord!”

Wait, there’s a cord here too!?

While I love my person, she can sometimes be very confusing!

By this time, she was over where I was, picking me up.”Sassy we can’t chew on the cords, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Wait, first I can’t chew on the Ford (whatever that is), then I can’t chew on  the cord, but I’m not chewing on any of those. I was just chewing on the hard yarn. Which brings me to a question for you, where has this been?! It’s fascinating!

She set me down, and went over to pick up the hard yarn.

Oh I see how it is, you just want to play with the hard yarn yourself. 

“See Sassy, this isn’t a toy, it’s the charging cord.”

By now, I was TOTALLY confused! I watched her grab the thing she talks into that talks back to her, I think it’s called a home…no, that’s not right, um…a… phone!!!!

“See Sassy, the cord charges the phone so I can talk into it.”

Let me get this straight, the Ford charges the home so you can talk into it…sure it does. Person, I think you might need some more of that coffee stuff.

Small Person Training (Part 2)

Hello everyone. I know it seems like it’s been forever, so I’ll catch you up on what’s going on…

  1. The small person is AMAZING!
  2. The small person is a big help.
  3. Did I mention she’s the best little Kitty…person.

Anywho…remember last time she was going to help me with the big delivery that was coming…remember?

So…As I was finishing my patrol of the front, the small person let out her squeal…they were here!

I ran to the back room. Sure enough, this ginormous truck had pulled up. They seemed to be setting a bunch of small things out before they were bringing it all in.

Ok, so things are about to get nuts here. As the furniture starts to comes in, I have to inspect each piece. I need you to let me know when each piece comes in. Sometimes I miss some incoming pieces while I’m inspecting others. Does that make sense?

Small person started moving forward (aka yes).


The next thing I new, the back door opened…

Ok, …get ready…here I go!

I dashed off to the first piece, then the second, and the third. Fortunately, the beginning pieces were small and didn’t take alot of time, but then…

Holy COW!!!!!

The small person let out the biggest squeal I think she ever had!

Oh no, here come the big pieces!

That’s when it happened…the small person turned into this high pitched piercing alarm! Which was good…kind of. As I was running around like a “Kitty that had been lassoed,” I was starting to re-think the decision of having the small person let  me know when every piece was coming in. Let’s just say, a few good squeals tuned into the noise that those big red trucks make. My head was starting to hurt.

I think I’ve created a MONSTER!

Oh no!

I ran over to the small person, when my little Kitty ears could hardly take it anymore.

Maybe I shouldn’t have had you let me know about every single piece.

All of a sudden the small person stopped.


I ran over to regroup with the small person..

While you have done good small person, we may need to rethink some of your training….





Next Week…

I though I would let you know that there won’t be a post next week.

I’m not 100% sure why, but my person said we’re going to her brothers wedding? Or weeding… maybe it was welding….anyway, I’m not really sure what it is, but I did hear something about alot of chicken!!!! I love chicken…

Anyway, just wanted to let you all know. Thank you so much for reading my stories every week!


Small Person Training (Part 1)

I love this small person! Do you remember a few times ago I told you about the small person that Iris brought in to help me? She might just be part Kitty. She understands and listens to me so well.

There was one day, that it was starting to get particularly crazy at the shop. I had overheard my person talking with Shannon that we were getting in a whole bunch of what people call cushions. As soon as the small person got there, I gave her a quick briefing of what we needed to do…

First off, let me say, you are amazing! I’m so glad you’re hear to help me!

The small  person just sat there and smiled. I’ve figured out that’s her way of saying thank you.

So, apparently there are going to be alot of what we call “cushions” being delivered here today. Do you know what cushions are?

Small person started to let some water come out of her mouth- aka that means no.

No problem, basically they’re these big soft things that you humans sit on. Well…Kitty’s like them too. Anyway, does that make sense?

Small person started moving toward me (that means yes)…Oh I love it!

Great! So, what I need you to do, is very simple. I need you to be on patrol of the back. I’ll make sure the front is secure. I think these people will come to the back door, but I haven’t heard for sure. Can you do that?

Small person kept moving toward me.

Oh I’m so glad you’re hear!

I went up and began to patrol the front. After patrolling for a little while, I peaked in the back, just to make sure she was handling things. I couldn’t believe my eyes. That small person was so dedicated to her job! She had gone over and  asked her Mom to put her in her little see- through -box with a cushion ( This see -through- box is by the back window. I’m pretty sure she goes in there so she won’t get distracted from her job) She’s the best little Kitty…I mean person.

As I was finishing my patrol of the front, the small person let out her squeal…they were here…