Vacation

My person tells me that alot of you Kittys….I mean people… are finishing up something called a Spring Break from School. So, I have decided to take a small break myself. Please come back next Friday to read the continuation of Toilet Paper.

                                                                                                                Thank you for reading,                          Sassy

 

Toilet Paper (Part 1)

Have you ever seen that white stuff that hangs on the wall in people’s litter boxes…I mean bathrooms. You know, the big white ball that humans call Foilet…Boilit…Toilet Paper!…that’s it, they call it Toilet Paper.

I was doing my usual morning patrol of the house, making sure everything was secure, when all of a sudden I see this white ball stuck on the wall waving at me! I leaped on top of the white chair and gave it a talking to….

Excuse me, but who put you there?

It got right in my face…

Don’t you wave me off, I’m not going anywhere until you tell me who you are and why you’re hear.

Now it just sat there.

So, are you going tell me why you’re hear?!?

Still nothing.

Listen here…you..you…well I don’t really know who or what you are, but you are going to tell me why you are hanging on the wall!

Then all of a sudden there was a noise and it launched at my face!

OH NO YOU DON’T!!!

I leaped off the white chair and grabbed the Foilet…Toilet Paper and brought it to the ground.

If you are going to attack me, I will get you! NO one attacks me or any other person in this house!

Just then, I  heard my person…

“Sassy, where are you?

OK Toilet Paper, my person is calling me, but I’ll be back.

“Sassy, come on, we need to head to the shop.”

Just then, my person came around the corner…

“Sassy! what did you do to the Toilet Paper? Come on, we’ve got to get going. We’ll clean this up when we get home.”

I looked at the Toilet Paper laying there on the floor acting like it was dead.

Very smooth Toilet Paper…very smooth…I’m onto you….you heard my person, I’ll deal with you when we get home.

 

 

New Day For Posts!!!

To all my faithful Kittys…I mean Readers…I wanted to let you know that starting next week, my person will be posting my stories on Fridays instead of Thursdays.  Thank you for reading!

                                                                                 ~Sassy

The Vet (Part 2)

I last left you at….

“Breathe Sassy, it will all be over before you know it.”

BREATHE?!?! That’s easy for you to say! You’re not the Kitty that’s about to turn into a RABBIT!!!!!

My person stopped the truck in front of this big yellow building. Is this where I turn into a rabbit?!?!?!?!  My person opened the truck door and we started the loooooooong walk inside.

Once we got inside, my person talked to a person sitting behind this ginormous desk. I was only half listening to what they were saying because I was scoping out the place. The more I looked around, the more I realized something just didn’t add up. I do remember the KGTNH talking about “The Vet” as being a scary terrifying place, but this place seemed very nice and quiet.

“You can go into this room and the doctor will be in shortly,” the person behind the desk said.

“Thanks,” my person said.

After a few moments a man walked into the room.

“Hi there, my name is Dr. Gray, and you must be Sassy.”

Why yes I am. I was trying to stay as composed as possible.

“So it looks like we’re in for  our rabies shot today, right?

“That’s right,” my person said.

My person picked me up and set me on a big silver table. Dr Gray petted me. He seemed very nice.

“This might hurt a little Sassy, but then that will go away and you’ll be all better.”

WAIT…..WHAT!!!!!!!! I jumped around and stared at the doctor. You mean to tell me, you’re going to help me NOT turn into a rabbit!?!?!?!

“Alright Sassy, let’s get you your shot, we don’t want you to get rabies.”

You can keep me from turning into a RABBIT Dr. Gray?!?!?! Oh THANK, YOU THANK YOU!!!!

Next thing I know I felt a small prick like he said, and then it was gone.

That’s it? That’s all you had to do to keep me from turning into a rabbit?

“Alright, she should be good to go, ” he said to my person “She might feel a little tired in a bit, but that should go away after a day.”

What are you talking about Doc, I”m a tuff kitty, no little pinch is going to wear me out.

Next thing I remember, I was waking up in Anne’s chair…

 

What happened??????

“Hey Sass, how are you doing?”

Am I a rabbit???

“Remember Sass, the doctor said you might feel tired after your shot? We’re back at the shop now. How about you just take a nap and I’ll see you when I get back from the install. OK?”

So I”m not a RABBIT?!?!

“You’re going to be just fine Sassy.”

OH PRAISE GOD!!!!!!

Special note to kitty’s everywhere… Vets are GOOD!!! The KGTNH was WRONG!!! Don’t be scared of the Vet, they help kitty’s not to turn into rabbits!

The Vet (Part 1)

It started out as any other normal day: Noise thing goes off, person hits it, person gets her brown drink that she says makes her “function in the morning”, we eat breakfast, get ready, and head to the shop in the truck.

However, when we got to the shop on this particular day, we didn’t stay very long…

“Hey Shannon,” my person said “I have to take Sassy to the Vet this morning, it won’t be too long, I have to get her her rabies shot.”

“Oh poor thing,” Shannon said.

“Well, she’s pretty much an inside kitty, but I would hate for  her to get out by accident and get bit by something that was rabid. You never know what kind of critters are out at our place.”

Wait…. where are we going?

“So I shouldn’t be too long, and then I’ll head out with Anne to do the install,” my person said.

“Bye Sassy, I’ll see you back here after you get your rabies shot,” Shannon  said.

We went to the truck and started driving, and I was very confused…

Why on earth would I shoot a rabbit? I don’t even have a rabbit! Person, what is Shannon talking about? Does she need some of that brown drink you drink every morning?

“It’s ok Sass, we’re just going to get your rabies shot, and then you can turn in for the day, and rest at  the shop while I go to the install.

Wait just one darn tootin’ minute here Person…what do you mean I’m going tot turn into rabbit!!! Why on earth would I ever turn into a rabbit?!?!?! I like being a Kitty!!!

“It’s OK Sassy,…everything is going to be OK.”

There was nothing in the KGNTH about Kittys turning into rabbits!!!! 

“Breathe Sassy, it will all be over before you know it.”

BREATHE?!?! That’s easy for you to say! You’re not the Kitty that’s about to turn into a RABBIT!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

What A Week….

I don’t even know where to begin…something so…so…so….I DON’T EVEN HAVE WORDS!!!! Something almost happened to me that I didn’t even know was POSSIBLE!!!!! It’s definitely no where in the KGTNH! I’m going to have to write them and…. I’m sorry, I’m getting off track.

You’re gonna have to come back next week so I can make sure I tell you this in a clear ….mostly calm fashion…what happened this week.

~Sassy

“Happy Valen-Flower-Gnome Day” (Part 2)

“Do we know what time Anne is getting here?” Iris asked.

“She texted saying that she should be in by 9:30. She has an install at 8:00 this morning,” my person said.

Jut then Shannon came in really excited about some box that came in.

“I got them!!!! They came in yesterday and she’s going to love them!” Shannon said.

BOX!!! 

I darted over to Shannon, and very politely reminded her that any box that comes into the shop MUST be inspected by me first.

“Hey Sassy, how are you doing? Wait ’til you see this, Anne’s going to think it’s great.”

That’s great, but I do really need to inspect that box please.”

“Here Sassy, I’ll open it up down here for you.”

Oh thank you Shannon. I knew you  understood.

Shannon opened the box, and like any good Stealth Kitty…I DOVE IN!!!!! Facing any danger head on is what we do.

“Sassy, what are you doing?” my person said.

I popped  my head out… Simply trying to protect all of you…back down I dove.

All clear! 

“Come here Sassers,” Iris said as she scratched my head.

I don’t normally like to be held, but I could see better with Iris holding me. I watched intently as Shannon pulled something out of the box.

“Oh my goodness!” my person said laughing. “Those Gnomes are hilarious!”

I looked at what my person, and now Shannon and Iris, were all laughing at.

WHAT!!!!!!! Why on earth are all those little people in that box!!!!!!

Shannon set them on the desk and the shelf and then went into the back room along with Iris and my person. I jumped up on the desk. They didn’t move.

Alright you….you Gnomes…..who are you and what do you want with Anne and this shop???

Nothing. They just sat there, the one with his mouth covered, one with his eyes covered, and the other with his ears covered.

That’s right, you better be scarred! So… you aren’t going to talk, or listen, or even look at me huh? 

Gnome

I then went over to the other little person…Gnome…whatever they are.

How about you?  Are you going to tell me what you want with our shop?!?!?!

Nothing

So, you’re just going to stand there and smile at me?

Gnome 2

Now here this you Gnomes. I’m not really sure what you are or why you won’t say anything, or why Anne is going to like you, or what in tarnation you have to do with this Valen-Flower-Gnome Day…but…. I WILL be watching you.