Jerky (Part 1)

Many humans accuse animals of stealing their food. Now I can’t speak for dogs, or rabbits, or flamingos, or any other animals, but if a Kitty takes your food, it’s really for your protection. Yes, that’s right, we are trying to save your life.

I don’t know how many times I have saved my person’s life from strange food, but nothing compares to the first time I saved her life. She had come home from what she calls grocery shopping – apparently this is no fun to do, but she always gives me chicken after- so how bad can it be! Anywho… she was all excited about this thing she called Jerky…

What in the world is Jerky?

“Sassy, I know it’s weird, but I’ve always wanted to try Buffalo Jerky and the store finally had it on sale!”

Person, what in the world is Jerky?!

Every once in a while, my person get’s so excited about something, that she get’s lost in her own little world. She continued to put the food away while going on and on about this Buffalo Jerky.

“OK Sassy, here’s your chicken.”

Oh thank you!!!

Just about the time I went to eat my chicken, I heard this noise that sounded like something tearing. I looked over at my person, and she was sitting in her chair about to eat something.

Oh, she’s just opening a bag …

Then I got a whiff of something I had never smelled.

WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!

I leaped over to the chair and got between her and the bag.

Sassy, what are you doing?” she said laughing.

This is not a laughing matter…DON’T EAT THAT!!!!! It smells TERRIBLE!!!!!!….. That Buffalo Jerky is trying to kill you!!!!!

Piano Kitty

A while back I told you how my person teaches piano lessons. Sometimes we go to other houses to do the lessons, and sometimes the little kittys…I mean people….come to our house and play on our piano.

After listening to my person teach the kittys….people….I decided that I needed to learn to play the piano too.

I waited til my person was done teaching the lesson then I went and talked to her about my decision…

“Hey Sassers, how are you doing?”

I am doing just grand, thank you for asking.

I jumped up on the seat and got right next to her. My person likes it when you just tell her what you would like, or need to do. She always says, ” Just out with it already, don’t beat around the bush.” I’m not really sure what “beating around the bush” means, but anywho…..

“What’s up Sass?”

I was thinking it might be nice, if I could learn how to play the piano.

“You like the piano don’t you Sass.”

I do…so about those lessons…

“You want to play the piano Sass?”

YES!!!!

“Come here, let me see your paws…”

I hopped over to my persons lap, and she put my paws on the piano.

This…is…so…FUUUUUUNNNN!!!!!

“Is that fun Sass?”

Oh my goodness, I should have done this forever ago!!!! Now I know I need to practice…

“I’ve got another lesson in just a few minutes, but you can play until they come.”

Person, you are so great!

I mean, how many of you have a person who lets you practice the piano…it really doesn’t get much better than this…unless their’s chicken…but this is a very close second.

Total DOGWASH!

I think it’s about time I set the record straight. There has been this rumor going around, well..since the beginning of time, that Kittys are “afraid” of water. You know what I say to that…”DOGWASH!” Yes, DOGWASH.

Kitty’s are not afraid of water…now it might startle us, but never scare us.

*Disclaimer: I cannot speak for larger Kittys, such as lions, tigers, panthers etc… because I have never met one nor asked them their take on this matter.

Back to the subject at hand:

Baths. 

A good Kitty only needs a bath, in a sink/tub once a year. Why? you ask, because frankly it’s embarrassing! Through no fault of their own, a Kitty’s person tends to laugh at them after the bath. Because… well, let’s face it we look like wet rats after! Hence, no more than one bath, once a year..END OF THAT STORY!

Showers.

Showers on the other hand, are a whole other matter. All of the Kitty’s at the Theodore Kitty School (the school I’m a graduate of) are taught to jump in the shower after their person is done. Why you ask? Well, it’s really just easier to clean our paws in the little bit of water that is left in the shower. I always like to drink a bit of the left over water too..it just tastes better out of the shower.

Water…in general

Do we drink water? YES! I personally love water!

Do we like to be thrown into water? NO! Do you?!

Do we play in water? Occasionally…don’t you?

Do sudden outbursts of water scare us? NO…they startle us.

So as you can see, this idea that Baths and Showers and Water scare Kittys…Oh My Goodness…it’s total Dogwash!

Sheepspin- You Can Take It Anywhere!

First off, I want to wish all my readers a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! I had a great New Year’s Eve. My person and I stayed up til midnight…well, I did, she fell asleep at 10:00…but she did give it a good try. Anywho…. I must tell you about my latest find. Yes, it’s so exciting….so fluffy….I can hardly contain my excitement!!!!!!!

I know what you’re thinking… JUST TELL US ALREADY!!!! Never fear, I’m not only going to tell you, but I’m going to show you!

I know what you’re thinking, “Sassy, why are you curled up in a box?” The answer is .. Because that box is full of Sheepspin!!!!! Yes, you heard correctly

 …Sheepspin.

Now some of you may be wondering what “Sheepspin” is, and why it’s so great? Let me tell you, Sheepspin is…well…it’s…it’s this AMAZING white fluffy stuff that once you smell it and touch it….oh my goodness!!!….let’s just say you’ll want to jump in a box full of it and fall asleep too!

Why is it so great? That’s an easy answer….BECAUSE YOU CAN TAKE IT ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!

You can play with it anywhere….

And after you have a WONDERFUL day of playing with it, licking it to death, rolling around with it, and carrying it everywhere, you can bring it home to sleep on it in front of the heater…

I don’t normally do New Years Resolutions, but I’ve decided to make an exception this year. My New Year’s Resolution…Tell everyone about SHEEPSPIN!!!!!!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New YEAR!!!

I wanted to say thank you to all of you who have read my blog this year. We’ll be taking a small break to enjoy the Holidays. Be sure to come back on January 10, 2019 for a new story!

~Sassy~

A REAL Christmas Tree (Part 2)

Person. you have to listen to me! This is NOT a real tree!

“Sassy, I know you like trees, but you can’t climb this tree like you would one that’s outside.”

Well of course, because a real tree is way easier to climb than this one.

“I don’t want all the ornaments to break and the light to come off.”

I do like those lights…but that’s beside the point. Why on earth would you bring a ….a …well, a not real tree in here and….

“I know it’s not a real tree Sass, but…”

WAIT….WAIT….You mean you intentionally bought a not real tree and brought it into our house…WHY?!?!

Sometimes my human confuses me so much! What on earth would posses a person to pay money for something that is fake!

“Well, when someone gives you something you take it and say Thank -you. Does that make sense Sass?”

Oooooooh, I see.

After my person explained that to me, I understood. You see at the Theodore Kitty School, that’s a big thing that is taught…Thankfulness. Even though it may not be exactly what you had wanted; someone out of the kindness of their heart bought or made something with you in mind, and you should be thankful, for whatever it is they give you.

“So, are you going to jump on the tree and knock all the ornaments fall off?

No, I won’t…

“Sassy….”

I mean it I promise.

“Good Kitty.”

Can I stare at the lights though? They’re so PRETTY!!!

“Of course.” My person said laughing.

I ran over jumped on her lap and starting licking her face….

OH THANK YOU THANK YOU!

A REAL Christmas Tree (Part 1)

Christmas….  My person get’s very excited about Christmas. There’s this music she plays all the time and she sings along,  and …I’m sorry, I’m getting sidetracked.

Umm…oh yes, Christmas… She put’s these things called decorations everywhere in the house.  She also put’s this thing up that she calls a tree and put’s little lights all over it. They’re so pretty I just can’t help but stare at them! But anywho, I’m not here to talk about the lights, or the music, it’s the TREE.  

It’s my job to make sure everything in the house safe secure.  I was doing this one day, when I saw what my person called a tree, but it was NOT a real tree! I went around to every branch on the bottom of tree and inspected it. Do you know what! Not one “branch” was a real branch! Let me tell you, I’ve climbed a fair share of trees in my life so I know what a REAL tree is supposed to look like!  Feel like! Smell like!

I then climbed up on the different branches of the tree and I was about at the top when…

“Sassy! What are you doing!?”

What do you mean what am I doing?

“Get down from there right now!”

I ran down the tree, Did you know that this isn’t a real tree!!!! Someone totally lied to you!

“Sassy, you can’t be climbing the Christmas tree.”

You’re missing the point…this is not a REAL tree!!!!